War Paint and Weaves

It's time women realize that many of you are just wearing too much damn makeup. It's like you're putting on war paint. Enough is enough! And what is the purpose of all the makeup? Are you trying to impress a guy? Are you doing it to improve your self image? Does it make you feel better? These are not rhetorical questions, I'd really like to know.

Let me be honest, a woman with too much makeup on, in my eyes (and I'm sure I speak for other guys as well), looks absolutely ridiculous. You look like a clown. 

Pardon me if I'm coming off as rude because that is not my intention. It's time to let you know what the real deal is, and that is, very few men like all that makeup. Most women who wear tons of makeup, and happen to read this article, really don't care. They don't care because their response will be, "to hell with you, and any other guy, I'm doing this for me."

Fair enough, you wear the clown makeup to make yourself look good, to feel good about yourself, to express yourself. OK, I get that, but if that is the case, why do you take it off when you get home, and you put it on before you leave the house?

Don't get me wrong, some makeup is OK, but when you ladies put that foundation on your face, then blush over the foundation, then eye-liner and eye-shadow, thick, shiny lipstick, usually in some bright ass color, you look like Bozo the Clown. All you need are the big shoes and the clown nose and you're set.

Again, I apologize if I appear to be rude or crass but this had to be said. We do not like all that makeup; for one, it gets all on your shirt if you just accidentally brush up against a woman. Second, there's nothing more beautiful than a woman who wears just a little makeup but retains her natural beauty. Third, if we meet a woman who wears tons of makeup, and over the next few weeks, few months, whatever the case may be, you spend the night, you barely recognize her the next morning.

Why would a woman wear so much makeup that it camouflages who she really is? Why? It makes no sense to me. And what the hell is this with the eyebrows? Why do some women shave off their eyebrows then paint on fake, penciled in eyebrows? Why? What's the point? Do you actually think you're fooling us? We know that's not hair! We may be slow, but we're not that slow to where we can't distinguish penciled eyebrows from real eyebrows.

Please, I am begging my sisters (Black, White, Hispanic - my spiritual sisters), stop the madness. Put Clairol, Fashion Fair, and some of the other cosmetic companies out of business, cause you're not impressing most guys with all that goop on ya face.

And don't get me started on all this fake hair. I will say this, if it at least looks real, I'm OK with that, but if it looks like you have a mop sitting on your head you may want to come up with a different strategy. As ridiculous as a guy looks with a toupee, that's just how absurd some of these weaves look. I recently saw a woman at the gym, looked to be in her mid-to-late 50's with a long flowing blond weave, that didn't even come close to looking real.

Don't shoot the messenger, just call it tough love. Beweave it or not, oops, believe it or not, there are still lots of guys who appreciate the natural look!